How CrossFit is Changing my Life, Body & Career

Counseling and CrossFit...do those terms go together?  I'm learning that I believe they do.

I was reading in preparation for my very first intensive course (where I have to go to campus at the end of June) in Learning the Art of Helping.  Helping has always been a natural inclination for me and many of my close friends have called me "gifted."  But as I'm approaching my first time of having to learn how to help effectively as a counselor, this is the first class where people not only watch you but critique you.  Being a layperson helper has always been a role I've played throughout my life.  But this is where the rubber hits the road.  I'm not helping friends anymore, I'm learning a whole new set of skills...and I'm scared to death of doing things wrong.  I'm a chronic people-pleasing perfectionist (and NO, those terms to not mix well in life...yikes).  So not only will my imperfections be potentially glaring because of trying to acquire a new set of skills, but the people I want to like or approve of me will be critiquing me.  This is literally the stuff out of nightmares for me.

However, I was reading in my skills book today and it described acquiring a skill set as a counselor to the Karate Kid and acquiring new skills physically.  It says "You will learn basic helping moves, many of which will seem awkward and repetitive.  However, when they are properly learned and put in the appropriate sequence, they form more elaborate and elegant techniques, and they will take on a naturalness that you cannot feel at first" (Young, 2017, p. 24). 

LIGHT BULB MOMENT! 

I realized that is the story that CrossFit for me.  I started out looking at this whole CrossFit thing and being intimidated out of my mind.  I took the beginner's "On Ramp" class and was willing to give it a go, not having any idea what to expect, but with the owner of the gym, Frank, encouraging me to stick with it.  The moves for me were AWKWARD to say the least.  They were far from anything I'd ever done before and my body was not appreciating me.  I had a couple times I had to take a break, and I thought seriously about quitting.  I swore I wasn't getting it.  That perfectionist sirens were going off big time.

But the coaches were (and are) willing to work with me every step of the way.  They encourage me with a "GOOD, HANNAH!" from across the gym, but walk up to me one-on-one with a solid critique, but they've encouraged me so much and I trust their judgment, and took their word and worked through it.  They want me to get better which is WHY they say something.  Pretending like I'm doing something right does me nor them as coaches any good.  If I was going to get better, I needed to hear them say, "Get that booty out like you're at the club..." (Thanks, Matt!).  I needed to hear what I was doing wrong in order to get better.

And now, slowly, over the last (almost) 3 months, with a couple of breaks at the beginning in there, so like 2 months consistently...I've moved from the movements feeling awkward and my body screaming at me, to being able to go in and feel like I have a good foundation for what I'm supposed to do.  Not only that, Frank saw me this week, and I hadn't seen him in quite some time.  He turns to me immediately when he sees me and says, "You are looking healthier than when you came to on ramp."  I was shocked.  I didn't think I had changed that much, but he, being the owner and an elite athlete, noticed my progress.  Then he drew attention of the whole class to it (and yes, I've lost about 8-9 inches in just a couple of months...see below).  That was embaressing, but I blushed and life went on.  Not only did he notice how my body had changed, but he noticed that my movements had become smoother and more natural and commented on it as well.

But how did I get healthier and start on the road to looking more natural?  Through a blend of encouragement and well-structured criticism!  It may seem strange, but CrossFit has given me courage in life in general, but specifically as I head toward this class for my career goals.  I couldn't have made progress in CrossFit without someone watching and seeing the good, the bad and the really ugly and SAYING something.  It's exactly what my book is describing.  The movements of professional counseling will feel awkward and I may want to quit at some point, feeling like I don't get it.  But the truth is, it's the repetitive movements and the coaching that are going to put me onto a trajectory of success!  I get to celebrate going from doing a "clean" of 35 lbs in on ramp to now being able to do 90 lbs...or not being able to do handstands when I first started, to being able to do handstands by walking up a wall (an incredible feat for me!)...but I'll get to do those celebrations in terms of counseling and life as well!  I need to bear my CrossFit training in mind as a train to be a counselor, because it's taught me a lot about embarking on new adventures in my own life and taking ownership of the good, the bad and the ugly and working through it...even when tempted to quit.

CrossFit has taught me about the good, the bad and the ugly about myself as well.  It's brought insecurities to the surface that I didn't want to deal with.  I really have a hard time believing myself to be "good" at much of anything.  I remember years ago my parents gave me a wall art with the quote:

You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.-Winnie the Pooh

I've never believed I was any of those things.  But throughout my life, God has chipped away at the lies, and I've really turned a new corner in CrossFit and with embarking on studies in counseling.  As Frank tells me, "Your mind gives out before your body does."  I stand in my own way.  My thought process tells me I can't.  I am my own worst enemy.  I always believed I was helpful, a good friend, loved Jesus, and some other attributes.  But for the first time, as a mom of 3 and a wife, I think I've finally started on a journey that, as much as I hate the insecurities it brings out, I am becoming brave enough to face them instead of running away.  Maybe I'm finally at a place of being able to see myself through the lies into the Truth of who He has made me to be.

I really believe there is a real chance of the Lord having brought me to both CrossFit and my Master's program for such a time as this.

All of my life will be a journey, there will be ups and downs inevitably.  But I believe He is doing a new work in me that I haven't experienced before, and it's been SO hard but SO good.  It's scary looking at myself, but it's with the revelations brought to me through school and working out that has changed my outlook on myself.  It's far from over, but I'm pumped for the journey.

Feeling confident on May 21

March 6 (First Day of "On Ramp")

May 11  (roughly 6 weeks of actual workouts)

Thanks to all of you who have loved me and supported me through the good, the bad and the ugly.  You all are the best.  Seriously.